Back against the wall, sliding down as the tears begin to fall. Why does it happen this way? When does it stop hurting?
I go through journals; pages and pages of bad decisions, stains on the pages from tears, and quite a few regrets. I know they say to never regret your past, but what if you fucked up so bad that you wrecked your future? I am who I am today because of those regrets… I get this. But, had I stayed in school… I could have been done with Med School by now. Had I stayed in Colorado in 2006….. a little boy might have had the chance to actually know his mother. So many horrible, painful memories of what happened and what could have been. Funny thing, this evil called regret. You know you shouldn’t, but the what-if’s are just to good to pass up.
Two years gone this week. We’ve been through so much. But some things can’t be forgiven. I now face my reflection and wonder where to go from here.
To the future??? Buckle up, I guess.