Another chance…

So I moved out. Thought I had found a great group of friends to live with… and consequently hang our with. I was told I belong…. so I gave it a shot. I became an associate.

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I thought things were great. But it came to light that I didn’t have the dedication needed to do the associate club. So I did what I felt was best. I pulled my “big sister” aside and explained it to her, then said I was pulling my candidacy and cut my front patch off of my vest.

Thought things were fine… I was back on the job hunt and shortly after found a job. I was kind of excited about the job. The night that I was hired, I was also informed of the “office saying only one of us could be claimed by the friend we were living with.” It was then that I was informed that it was me to go, because the other was “club.” So I figured whatever…. I mean yeah. I was upset. The only reason I was allowed there was because I was a candidate. But it was onward and upward. I assumed that I would get the typical 30 days to move on…. turns out I was only supposed to have 2 weeks. So after a rather intense conversation I decided to head to bed. I had also been told that the associate sleeping on the couch had to ‘move’ as well… turns out lies only work if you run em by everyone first. She was taking over the bedroom the kids slept it….

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I decided to get a move on the next day. Woke up, smoked a cigarette, then started packing. 8 hours later I was loading my belongings into the back of a friend’s truck. I didn’t want to stick around where I wasn’t wanted. I left after that, and I did not look back. However, that still leaves me in limbo as it were. I know where I’m going and I know how I am getting there, I just don’t know when I am going. I don’t like that feeling.. but at least I have a fresh start ahead of me. A blank page and a new beginning. I try to surround myself with positivity now, I’ve spent this entire time with my daughter, my mother and my grandmother.

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My plan from here is easy. Get to Ohio, get a job, find an apartment, and go from there. I wont be trying to make friends, or find a date. If those things happen, they will happen. But they will happen in time, I need to focus on me right now. My daughter will stay with my mother in Colorado, for now. Around Christmas time she will be joining me, I’ll more then likely drive out and get her. There are good schools where I’m going, and my father has horses. She loves the animals, and working in the garden with him.

This is good. It’s something that needs to happen, and it is a situation in which I can actually survive. I look forward to this new life. And honestly? It’ll be nice to get out of the jungle and back to the country. I fit in there.

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